I have pushed away everything that could be a good thing for me. I am stuck in this vicious cycle that only I can break. I have always been a coward and I don’t mind admitting it. I’ll never be truly happy because I am too afraid to take the risk.
You take a drug, right. The chemicals, they rush through your body, rush through your brain. And the sensations, you want the sensations again and again and again. But let me tell you, you can also get addicted to grief, to guilt, to hate. Cause when you feel dead inside, even bad sensations make you feel like you’re alive.